Pretty successful day.
Weight: 147.8 < blech
total cereal (80)
coffee w/ soy creamer (20)
large carrot (30)
1 tsp dressing (10)
granola bar (130)
Total: 270 calories
running - 3 miles (300)
strength training - 30 minutes (200)
bike ride - 1.5 miles (100)
Total: 600 calories
I didn't quite get to my hoped-for 800 calorie burn, but 600 is still pretty damn good. I think I'm going to switch my exercise up a bit and get all my running in before I get too tired at the end of the day. So tomorrow I'll run in the morning, lift weights before lunch, run again in the afternoon, and then try to get some walking done in the evening.
I love how great I feel after a run - so energized and accomplished. This is in sharp contrast to when I'm actually running and feel like I might die (well, not literally). I've always had pretty good muscle strength without really having to work out, but my cardiovascular endurance is just crap. I don't know that it will improve much while I'm on such a restricted diet, but I plan to keep trying until I've lost weight and can focus on fitness.
I kind of hate the fact that I'm so impatient about losing weight. I also hate that it's impossible to lose five pounds a day. I'm all about contradictions, apparently. What I currently find more disturbing, however, is that my perception of my own weight seems to have become skewed. I occasionally find myself thinking I don't look that bad at this weight, which might not seem like a terrible thing, but invariably when I see pictures of myself on days when I thought I looked good I'm faced with the horror that I was so very wrong.
I suspect this problem stems from the fact that I'm so used to seeing myself weigh 20 pounds less than I do now, and my perception hasn't quite caught up to reality. To be honest, I hope it never fully does. For every ten pounds gone I plan on never seeing them again. I've already said goodbye to the 150's (thankfully I stayed just short of reaching 160, which I expect would have been horrifyingly sad); next up - the 140's.
I think I'm going to make mini-goals every five pounds. I don't know that I'll have any sort of reward that often, cause just being able to say I reached a goal is pretty good. I do have to think up a suitable (non-food, of course) reward for when I get under 130, because I haven't seen the 120's since... September of '08. That's just sad. Sad and pathetic.
So on to positive thoughts! My next goal is 145, which I should reach by the end of the week. That's something to be happy about (gotta think positively - to be honest I'm really not okay with anything above 125, but I have to appreciate the little successes so I don't set myself up for failure). :)