Saturday, August 21, 2010

Can we indemnify ourselves if we don't face what we're against?

I am so very inconsistent. I spent the summer in a big heap of fail, but over the past couple weeks I've been doing better. I finally reached 145 which, while not a terribly impressive accomplishment, is still a place I haven't been since 2009.

This past week I went on a two-night camping trip with my mother and one of her friends, I was able to do surprisingly well. The first day I had 90 calories of soup for dinner, the second I had a 90-cal granola bar for lunch and some salad and gelato for dinner (which I purged). Then on the last day as we packed up and left I didn't eat anything. I honestly did not expect to be able to eat that little without anyone noticing. I was worried at first that my mom would say something to me after we got home, but she hasn't and I think I'm in the clear. I suspect that my family is so used to looking out for evidence of binging that I'll have to be visibly much thinner before they start to wonder. I should be able to put off their concern longer by focusing on how I'm not binging, and any weight loss is just a result of that.

Yesterday wasn't so great, as I ended up binging, but it didn't screw up my weight too much. This time, instead of letting myself spiral down into a week-long binge-purge cycle, I'm stopping it right now and getting back on track.

I'm going on a modified ABC diet during which I'll be fasting every other day and never going above 500 cals. I'll be fasting today and tomorrow to make up for yesterday, and that should put me back on track to lose five pounds each week. Wish me luck!

1 comment: